Katherine says

So, we all went to Best Buy last night and found ourselves browsing in the TV department. (We're not in the market for TV. We were doing some research for Casey's sister, who needs a laptop. Anyway...) Katherine went up to the counter in that department and started talking to one of the blue-shirt guys.

Katherine: I looking for something.

Blue-Shirt Guy: What are you looking for?

Katherine: I want a hamburger and a small fry.

Grammer Lesson: Singular Vs. Plural

We were eating chicken and rice for dinner the other night and Katherine decided to exercise some of her newly-acquired grammatical knowledge.

Casey: Would you like some ice in your water?

Katherine: No, thank you. I just want one eye.

Later that same meal....

Kirsten: Katherine, what are you doing? (she slid off her chair and was rooting around on the floor)

Katherine: I looking for a rie.

Casey and Kirsten: A rie?

Katherine: I found it! (she holds up a single grain of rice)

One of THE stupidest things people can do

Last weekend Casey and Katherine and I drove down to visit one of my college friends and meet her husband and cute daughter. It's about a 45 minute drive from our house to hers. Casey was driving so I had the opportunity to gaze aimlessly out the window. I was shocked to see a man driving in the lane next to us, texting and (kind of) driving. Moron was in the car with his toddler in the car seat behind him. I wanted to roll down my window and tell that man to grow a brain.

I must say that texting and driving is almost the stupidest thing any human being can do. I think swimming in shark-infested waters with a gash on your arm is dumber, but only just. You are 23 times more likely to get in a car accident if you are texting and driving than if you're just plain old driving. Not 23 percent more likely, 23 times more likely.

I saw a piece on the news today that said the fine where I live for texting and driving is $750 (the fine gets higher and includes jail time if you cause an accident). Clearly it is not enough. I mean, there is always going to be a group of people who do whatever they want with no regard to the people around them, but I would think a father who drives a minivan with his baby in the backseat would not be in that group. It angers me to no end that otherwise intelligent people leave their brains in the driveway when they get in the car.

I don't think that guy thought to himself, "Let's see what reckless thing I can do today to endanger the life of my son and me and all these other drivers." He was probably thinking, "Gosh, I forgot to tell my wife that I'm on my way home. I should text her." There was also probably that little voice in his head that told him, "Gee Bill. Maybe you shouldn't do that. Maybe you should focus on the road. The traffic is pretty bad," but that one got ignored. That is the problem. The voice of responsibility and self-preservation gets ignored a lot, especially where cars are involved. If people listened to it more, you wouldn't have people eating and driving with their knees (I was in the car while someone did that and I honestly thought I was going to die), or applying mascara while driving.

Then there's the excuse I have heard about multitasking. There are lots of people who think they can multitask, but guess what? You can't actually do it! TONS of studies out there by reputable universities show that normal humans can not "multitask". In the official Kirsten Dictionary, the word "multitask" really means "a fictional ability that people believe they have wherein they can do two focused tasks at the same time." Your brain can only REALLY focus on one thing at a time. When you're trying unsuccessfully to do two things at once, it's called attention blindness. If you're texting--even if you're NOT looking at the phone--your brain is still focused on what you are typing and not that semi truck who just changed lanes in front of you.

If you or someone you know texts and drives, please refer them to this YouTube video. I didn't post it here because it's really graphic (like seriously graphic. Don't watch it if blood or slow motion whiplash bothers you). The clip is a portion of a CNN broadcast. I haven't seen the whole 30 minute video, but this short portion gets the point across pretty clearly.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eVQVkwKVs8Q

And by the way, if you are one of my friends who texts and drives, just do us both a favor and don't ever tell me. I don't want to lose my respect for you. And stop doing it, k?

Food should always look like food

Yesterday I went out to lunch with a friend and I took Katherine. We had a lovely time and Katherine (for once) ate pretty well. Part of her little kids' meal included a "dirt cup" for dessert. I got all excited when I found out she'd get one of these things because a) they're really good and b) I thought Katherine would think the crunched up cookies with gummy worms would be funny.

The waitress brought out the dirt cup and played up the fact that it's dirt that you get to eat. I was getting into it too, only to discover that Katherine's eyes were welling up with tears. What the heck?? She thought I was trying to force-feed her real dirt! I took a bite to show her that it wasn't actual dirt, but when I offered her a taste, she screamed, "No!!!! I don't want eat a dirt! Yuck!" followed by more crying.

I learned two things yesterday: Mimi's makes a very tasty dirt cup (which I thoroughly enjoyed) and where Katherine is concerned, food should always look like food. We'll just have to be extra careful at Halloween with all those eyeball jawbreakers and stuff. I don't really want to think about Katherine's reaction then *shudders*

The Five Stages of Grief...I mean getting out of bed

I am not a morning person. I have a REALLY hard time getting up before about 7:30am and most of the time I'd like to sleep until 9:00. This past week Casey and Katherine and I all went to visit Grandma and Grandpa, which is an eight-hour drive (or more precisely, an eleven-hour drive if you have a two-year-old) from where we live. We were heading back here on Monday and decided to get up bright and early so we could get back as early as possible. We set the alarm for 6:00am, which my college friend Annie used to refer to as the "butt-crack" of dawn. At least I think it was Annie. I don't want to slander anyone here.

As the alarm went off and I lay there contemplating alarm clock murder, I was struck with an epiphany. When becoming involuntarily conscious we go through the 5 steps of grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance.

Denial: "The alarm is NOT going off. It's not there. I'm covering my head with the pillow and it will go away."

Anger: "Why do I have to get up so *&%# early?? Who's stupid idea was this?" (it was actually mine, so I had no one to blame there....poo.)

Bargaining: "Ooh! I'll just hit the snooze alarm....about 40 more times. That'll buy me more sleep."

Depression: *sad groaning noises*

Acceptance: "All right, all right! I'm up!"

Elisabeth Kubler-Ross really knew what she was talking about. It even says on Wikipedia that the five stages model is a "process by which people allegedly deal with grief and tragedy..." And to me, there is nothing more tragic than being forced out of my nice cozy bed before I'm ready.



PS: In no way am I trying to be hurtful to people who are actually going through real loss, disease, etc. I'm not that mean.

My New Favorite Sport

Welcome to the Place Where Words Come Alive

So, I have a brilliant child. There's no denying it. Katherine is fabulously smart and I have PBS to thank for it. She loves those "learn to read" shows like "Super Why!" and "Word World." Word World is actually one of her favorites. The premise is that all the characters in the show are built out of letters and all the props--trees, fences, houses, you name it--are also built of letters. Each episode they teach a reading principle, e.g. S-H makes the sound "Shhh." And at some point during the episode they build a word with letters they acquire from somewhere (the post office? letters...post office, get it? haha I'm SO funny!) and the letters magically become whatever it is that they spelled.

The other night, Katherine saw a bug flying around the house and decided she wanted to catch it. She said she needed a net and a few minutes later came up to me with her bucket full of foam letters which we have been using to teach her the alphabet and phoenics. We spelled the word "net" together and Katherine began squishing the letters together. It took me a minute before I realized that she was trying to build a word the way they do on "Word World." She was getting so frustrated that her little foam letters wouldn't turn into an actual net. It was really funny watching her annoyance and confusion and I earned myself lots of mommy bonus points for not laughing at her. What a funny kid!