Perspective

At this time of year when we're all gaining weight and feeling fat, seeing this can help keep things in perspective.  If only those ducks weighed a little more.....

A Tale of Two Vaccinations

Late last month my husband was out of town and I found myself facing a dual round of vaccinations for my kids.  That's right, BOTH of my children were getting shots on the same day AND I had to deal with it alone.  I knew this was a bad idea, but I didn't have much choice.  For the record, I strenuously recommend against having more than one child vaccinated at a time if you can at possibly avoid it.  It was an awful experience.

I do enjoy a good spreadsheet, so I made one in honor of the occasion.  Can you guess which child is high-strung like Mommy and which one is laid-back?

Something that was not on that spreadsheet, but is definitely worth mentioning is how Katherine refused to walk anywhere for two whole days after her shots.  She dragged herself around the floor, moaning, carrying whatever toy she had in her teeth.  (Sorry, I don't have photos of this; I was a little too annoyed to be taking pictures)  She also peed her bed that night because she wouldn't get out of bed and walk to the bathroom.

Both my kids reacted exactly as they have reacted in the past (minus the bed-peeing and in the past I was able to coerce Katherine into walking sooner), but the equation didn't work out to be:

Logan x grumpy from shots + Katherine x grumpy from shots = frazzled Mom from two grumpy kids

It was more like:

Logan x grumpy from shots + Katherine x grumpy from shots = Mom with no sleep, no food and no shower who is trying desperately to remember that she loves her children and does not actually want to murder them or their father

So I have learned a valuable lesson.  Never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever have both kids get shots at the same time, and especially Never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever do it when Daddy is out of town.

These Mashed Potatoes Are So Creamy

I was visiting my parents recently.  We have an interesting conversation style, which my husband refers to as "everybody talks and nobody listens."  It makes him crazy because he is used to having only one person talk at a time.  But we don't do that at my house.  We all talk to each other at the same time and you'll have several conversations going on at once.  This is what happened at dinner the other night.

My Mom:  What are we going to do together on your father's day off?

My Dad:  Pass the butter.  Let's all go to a park or something.  You looking for something Kirsten?

Kirsten:  I just need the Tabasco sauce.

Katherine: Look at me everybody! I have stickers in my hair!


meanwhile.....


Kirsten:  Oooh! I put too much Tabasco sauce in my soup!  Somebody pass me the water!

My Sister:  That'll hurt coming out.*

Everybody else:  What??



*My sister was talking to Katherine, but to me and everyone else, it sounded like she was talking to me.  I think it took about 5 minutes before everybody calmed down.

Shameless Plug

Mostly I talk about my family, my hot, talented husband, my brilliant, talented children and all the funny/interesting stuff they do and say.  But today, I am talking about me.  This is my favorite subject (Look at me!!  Look at me!!)  I have a friend who has a recipe blog and I begged her to let me contribute to it.  So, now I am.  It's Barker Baking and Tasting with the occasional addition from me. 

You think food.com and allrecipes.com are fabulous?  Well, you haven't seen anything yet!  You should totally check it out if you don't know what to eat for dinner.  The recipes have all been tested by at least one of us and are guaranteed delicious and not too hard.  And there are no weird ingredients that you can only find at the international outdoor market from the vendor in the back corner every third Tuesday and only if you give him the secret handshake.  All the ingredients can be found at a regular grocery store and don't cost an arm or a leg or any other body part.

Bon Appetit!

Posterity

Katherine is learning about family relationships.  I've been telling her about uncles and aunts, grandparents, etc.

Me:  When you have kids, you will be the mom, and I will be the grandma.

Katherine:  Just like Grandma is my grandma and you're my mom!

Me: yup!

Katherine:  I'm gonna have ten kids!  And you're gonna be the grandmother!

Me:  What are you going to name them?

Katherine:  Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday and Tinkerbell and Curious George and Sid!

Ch-Ch-Changes

Life is a mess for us here at my house.  So many things going on.  Katherine has this weird rash on the skin next to her lip that won't go away, Logan is protesting breastfeeding and I'm losing ground to the bottle.  But the thing that has shaken us up the most is Casey's new job.  Now, because this is a public blog and anyone can read it, I'm not going to say anything about it except that it involves a move across two time zones.

Casey left for this new job last week and I have been handling all rest of the stuff.  Our condo is on the market, so I have to keep this place spotlessly clean all the time, which is no small task when raising two tiny tornadoes.  I have no help at all with these tornadoes, so if they're both flipping out at the same time (and this happens pretty much everyday), I have to pick the one who is yelling the loudest and pray the other one doesn't hate me too much.  I feel like Bill Cosby's wife who was attractive and intelligent before the children, but started losing it after the kids were born.
I seriously have no idea how single parents do it.  By 6 o'clock each night, I start fantasizing about drugging my kids with Nyquil (I would NEVER actually do this of course).  Maybe that's the secret of single parenting, Nyquil and nannies.  But honestly, my children are beautiful and sweet and generally well-behaved.  It's just all the other stuff I have to take care of is wearing me down, so every tiny thing that usually doesn't bother me begins to bother me INTENSELY.

Oh and that other stuff!  The constant cleaning, the last minute errands that I can't put off because I won't be here to do them later, trying to figure out how to fly a cat across the country, the broken TV.  Yes, the broken TV.  When Casey left, I thought, "At least the TV will keep the kids out of my hair if I start to lose my cool."  But the day before Casey left, the converter box on our TV died.  Now, I am generally not a person who uses the TV as a babysitter, but when your husband doesn't come home at night anymore, Sesame Street can be a link to sanity.  AND, the kids are getting vaccinated the day after tomorrow...That'll be fun.

I just really hope the movers get here soon and I don't go completely loopy.  Oh, and Casey, if you are reading this, I want diamonds for Christmas....big ones.

A Bit of Advice For All You New Parents Out There

I wish I could claim credit on this, but I can't.